Ode to 3A Essay

This is my attempt at humor.  It is an ode to the original 3A essay written by Hugh Gallagher.  His brilliant essay can be found here http://laughnet.net/an-extrordinary-college-essay-p-110.html

 IN ORDER FOR THE BLOGOSPHERE TO GET TO KNOW
YOU, THE BLOGGER, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE
FOLLOWING QUESTION:  ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU
HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE
HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a man of many talents and skills.  I create great masterful works of art using only crayons and paste (and occasionally glitter).  I fly higher than eagles, and I once stayed in the penthouse suite of the Hotel California.  I ate McDonald’s for a month straight, and lost weight.  My scientific discoveries in the area of perpetual motion, led to what would eventually be known as the Flux capacitor.  My phone number begins with 555, and I AM listed.

My inner beauty makes women cry, my outer beauty has caused civil war in small nations.  I recovered stolen art worth millions, using  a metal detector I won in a poker game… in which I cheated.  My children’s books have inspired a generation of those who would come to dedicated their lives to the study of fluid dynamics.   Oprah calls me.

I operate outside of the constraints of time.  I have walked under water, cured a ham, and made a lame man blind.    I have seen how deep the rabbit hole goes, and have woken to tell the tale.  My triangle concertos are recognized around the world, and I have never lost a battle with my beatbox skillz.   I went directly to jail, passed go, and collected $200.  I blog about everything.  I blog about nothing…

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