Traffic in Hell

Should you by some stroke of bad luck, happen to find yourself sentenced to eternal damnation, forced to spend eternity in the fiery furnace, or otherwise be going to Sam Hill in the proverbial handbasket, be aware that drivers there (should there in fact be drivers there) will not be much different than those found in the great city of Boston.  You can count on it, as Boston is basically a training ground for those who will infernally clog Hell’s rotaries and one way streets.  I’m sure that a great number of the bad drivers on Boston’s serpentine streets will end up as cab drivers in Hades, forced to circle the block endessly, looking for addresses that don’t exist. 

My theory is that Boston has more fires burning per square feet than any other city in the Western hemisphere, due to the fact that so many people drive as if they are on their way to one.  I’m assuming that these fires are simply a byproduct of the proximity of Hell to the Sumner tunnel, but who knows.


2 Responses to “Traffic in Hell”

  1. if boston is so close to hell (which i don’t dispute), why is it SO. FREAKING. COLD?

  2. The beginning of the “freezing over” process perhaps?

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